Prepiska QANTASovih pilota i mehaničara

Qantasov avion preleće SidnejNakon svakog leta, piloti Qantasa popunjavanju formular za prijavu mehaničarima eventualnih problema sa avionom. Mehaničari otklanjaju probleme i zapisuju svoje popravke u tom formularu, a piloti ga čitaju pre sledećeg leta. Po svemu sudeći aviomehaničari su veoma duhoviti.

Ps: Qantas je jedina veća aviokompanija koja nikada nije imala nesreću.

(P= Problem prijavljen od strane pilota.)
(S= Akcija preduzeta od strane mehaničara.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit. (This one’s great, too!)
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.